VonStrochenZone

Script problems

2008-06-27T19:01:00.000-07:00

Hello again,
I know that is has been a while since my last post, but i just have to say that there has been a revelation during the filming process. No it is not another medical discovery, i cant have one every week. We were sued! Isn't that surprising well anyway the script was entirely taken from a Dr. Phil transcript. So anyway we fired the writers and now i am writing everything myself. I guess the writers just saw Dr. in his name and assumed that he was like me. He kind of is though, in a way. Anyway the movie should be up before the end of july. Thank you for your patience.
Dr. Vonstrochenment

Culinary Discovery

2008-05-20T15:01:00.000-07:00

During my filming of the video, one of the crew members went into a coma. i tried to revive him but it was to hard (and i didn't like him that much). So my production crew went to china to find new camera cleaner. We found a new person but I made a shocking discovery. I discovered that pandas are very high in calories. With this new discovery i can solve the obesity crisis forever. I also discovered that pandas go great with garlic bread.

Insomnia Solution

2008-03-31T19:37:00.000-07:00

I know that i already posted a solution to insomnia but i have another. This is only for extreme cases of insomnia where the subject has already been awake for at least 10 days. First you must soak you're entire face in my insomnia cream ($59.14 a tube with tax). You must do this for an hour for it to start taking affect. While the cream is soaking into your brain, you must aim a laser concentrated with essence of sleep. For this laser to take effect you must have it go through your entire body. My recommendation is to aim it through your foot all the way to your head. If this fails to work then congratulations you are in the 0.658% of people who do not require sleep.

Video Update

2008-02-22T17:34:00.001-08:00

Thank you for being very patient with the video. I know that it is taking a while, but it is on schedule. We just had a few payroll problems.

Medical Response

2008-01-14T17:58:00.000-08:00

Your problem is fairly common these days Jeremy. I get this question all the time. Fortunately in a recent trip to my lab i created a cream that is to be applied directly to the eyes. The cream will force the eyelids shut to make you sleep. I can sell you this cream at the low price of $59.14 (with tax of 12.7% tax). Apply to the eyes 15 minutes before you go to bed.

Video

2008-01-07T12:01:00.000-08:00

Well after several weeks of voting and countless recounts the votes are finally in. And the winner is How to remove your tonsils at home. I will record this video and put it in another post.

Medical Response

2007-12-25T12:15:00.001-08:00

Hello again,

For your punctuation deficiency i would recommend that you have someone put thoughts of punctuation into your head while you are unconscious. To do this you will need a partner and a hammer. Other items work but the hammer is the most efficient. Have your partner hit you in the head with the back of the hammer. then you will be unconscious and will be able to hear messages and obey them. Have your partner then say random sentences with stress on the punctuation. For example " the dog went on the neighbors lawn period." try this method for a few weeks and then if that doesn't work then you have my invitation to continue getting hit in the head with a hammer repeatedly can't be that bad for you.

Human Anatomy

2007-12-12T20:18:00.000-08:00

Hello,

It's dr. vonstrochenment again i have recently received comments about creatures not of the human variety. I am an expert on humans so when you ask me a question about animals i am not as sure if i am right. I know that it is weird to think of doctor vonstrochenment to be wrong but it happens sometimes. So please only questions of the human variety please.

Medical Response

2007-12-11T16:44:00.001-08:00

There have been doctors in the past who have tried to do the procedures that i have come up with. The most popular being the pony in your cornea procedure. This procedure is basically an art-form so it is very hard to so it well. I am the best in the business at pony-jobs. The best way to fix the problem is to analyze your eye to see if the doctor just put contacts with ponies inscribed in them if they did take them out. But if your cornea is ruined then take out your cornea and put in a blank contact for a replacement.

Medical Response

2007-12-04T19:53:00.000-08:00

In answer to your question nake_snake when i last traveled to africa on one of my class trips ( this one was how to make drums ) I saw many elephants all with trunks except for one. this one had no trunk and looked strangely human. He was a sad elephant, all the other elephants made fun of him and would not let him play in the elephant games. So I think that it is best to leave the elephants with their trunks. It makes them look cool.

Thanksgiving reminder

2007-11-21T17:48:00.000-08:00

Hello world it is doctor vonstrochenment again, i am just telling you to stuff your turkeys with candy. it helps with digestion and it is very sweet. The childrens love it! The candy atoms act like warriors with swords they kill the other foods in your stomach and then they die. this has been another helpful tip from Dr. Vonstrochenment.

First Posts!

2007-11-02T20:10:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody! I am Doctor Von Strochenment!
I am a doctor who has revolutionized the medical fields of prescribing cream, and laser-inscribed ponies.
Everybody likes ponies. so why not get one inscribed into your cornea with a laser?

I hope you like my blog. i will take medical questions from people JUST LIKE YOU and make them happy to be.
Keep looking here for medical wonders to happen!